Saturday, February 13, 2010

Hearts at Home

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble,
whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely,
whatever is admirable-if anything is excellant or
praiseworthy-think about such things.
Phillipians 4:8

Having my heart at home seems to be a valley and mountain top sort of thing for me. There are days when I feel I am a failure and I seem wrought with sin and mistakes and want to run away from my home. Praise God, I have come to a place where those days are few and most are filled with a joyful content to be with this beautiful family the Lord saw fit for me to be mother and wife of. As of lately the world seems to be crashing down around us, but, home has been such a warm, comfortable and loving place to be. Even though the battle rages the joy that comes with a family makes all the challenges manageable.

As I have shed tears of joy these past couple of weeks, I have also been shedding a few of sorrow as well. There are families that are in so much pain and it is heart breaking to see. There are some circumstantial issues and some issues that come from the choices people make. The fixer in me wants to swoop in and fix all these problems, come up with solutions and see change now. I realize though, that it won't be me or my power that changes these families, it has to be the Lord.

So what does this have to do with a heart being at home, I believe it has a lot to do with it! From our first thoughts in the morning until our last at night we have the option of choosing whether to manage our day, emotions, thoughts and actions or to let them manage us. The past few years have really taught me that if I want to be content and happy right here, right now I need to choose to do it first and then the joy comes. My attitude makes the difference in whether I am frustrated and worn down or thankful and joy filled.

I use to believe that I needed to have a time set aside to refresh and be in the word each day. So I would get up read my bible and expect to have this sweet time with the Lord and not be interrupted. Well that is a little unrealistic for a mom with several little ones that need a lot of attention. Some mornings went according to plan but several times I was interrupted and would think things like, "can't I just do this one thing to start my day well? Grrr...." So I would set up my entire day with a poor attitude as I reacted to the interruption. I once read a devotional that talked about how we need to expect to be interrupted when we are needed by our little ones and learn to be thankful for those times. So I tried to change my attitude and thinking and welcome the interruptions. I have had so many moments of beauty come from these times. Now if one of the children is up when I am still doing my quiet time I include them. We read the bible, pray together or I direct them to be near me and read or look at the pictures in their bible. Instead of ending my time in frustration I end it feeling like I have helped to nurture a love for the Lord in my little one. My heart wants to be here. It is all a matter of attitude and where we place our hearts.

There seems to be a trend in our culture where we are encouraged to have "me" time. Somehow we have been convinced that if we nurture ourselves first, and take care of us we will be better for those others around us. This is a seemingly nice idea but it forgets one thing, we are all sinners we will never get it all together this side of eternity! I confess I have had this idea in the past where I somehow convince myself that if I can just get away for a little bit or have a little time with other adults or on my own I will return and be super mom. I started to rely on these times away. One problem here, I was looking forward to the "me" time and stopped enjoying the now. A bit of discontent crept in. I still get stuck in this thinking now, but most of the time I see that when I give the Lord my time he gives me refreshment. Many times not how I viewed refreshing time, but in ways that fit in with my life now. Maybe I give myself a pedicure on a Sunday afternoon when the girls are resting. It might be a blogging, maybe a bath. But, it probably won't be a week-end out with my friends. That is not where I am at right now in life and I'm okay with it. God provides what we need.

I am amazed with all the ways that God meets us where we are at. If we are willing to give him control, follow and obey his ways especially in submission to our husbands and command to love our children he will reward us with riches beyond measure. I am so honored to know by God's grace some of those riches. They come in whispers of, "mommy, I love you." All the work that it takes to manage my time, thoughts, actions and days is so worth it!

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