Thursday, September 8, 2011

Compromise

Having a blog is a bit of a soap box for me.  The great thing is that no one has told me to get off it yet.  Maybe today will be the day?
I can't count the times I've heard someone say that marriage is a 50/50 relationship.  It's give and take.  You must compromise.  For years these sort of attitudes have rubbed me wrong.  It's sort of like how Revelations 3:15-16 says, "I know that your works: you are neither cold nor hot.  Would that you were either cold or hot!  So, because you are lukewarm, and neither hot nor cold, I will spit you out of my mouth."  Compromising often leads to a similar feeling.  We are fed this idea that if I take a night out, then my spouse gets one.  If my spouse gets a new toy than I get the next one.  It's my night to get up with the children tomorrow, you do it tonight!  That's my play money use your own.  I don't know that it is a sin to set up a plan in marriage as far as who does what when.  But I know that it can lead to sin in our human hearts when we only give in expectation of getting back.
When we fight for our rights to our half of our share in life we are settling for mediocrity.  We are steeling away the opportunity to bless others by simpling serving.  Perhaps we become a terribly tepid taste in our Father's mouth.  I don't care to think of my God wanting to spit me out due to my taste.  When we insist that others take care of us and expect that others put us first, again we lose our flavor.  It is better to choose to be cold and indifferent than feign the middle ground.  The Bible doesn't speak much of the middle ground, it does ask us to walk righteously and give all. 
So how do we stay hot, on fire and motivated for God?  We serve like Jesus served us and we take time to be with our Father.  Get up with the baby at night.  Prioritize a quiet time of prayer and Bible reading.  Take care of the children instead of expecting to get a sitter or someone else to always help you.  Look to someone elses needs first. 
Does this mean that we never ask for help, NO!  But we ask God to give us discernment and wisdom about how many favors we are asking of others.  Don't be a score keeper, especially in marriage.  Let your husband take care of his flock, especially you by simply relating to him the needs that you have.  Be careful that Satan doesn't fool you into thinking that you can't get by without a little "me" time.  We as wives and mothers can and should be able to take care of our homes, our children and our husbands.  If we are struggling with doing these things it is a wise woman that learns to assess her time.  If you run so much you can't keep up, prayerfully go to God and your head (husband).  Surely they will be able to lead you into what needs to stay and go so you can accomplish their will.
"Salt is good, but if the salt has lost its saltiness, how will you make it salty again?  Have salt in yourselves, and be at peace with one another."  Mark 9:50.  It's not easy to be a mother and wife.  We have so many balls to keep up in the air these days, but we can choose to be at peace in our marriages and lives.  This is the one solution offered in Mark 9:50.  BE AT PEACE!  The key word here is be.  We keep house by work, we keep up our children by effort and diligence, we try and keep good health why would we not spend as much time working on keeping peace?  So next time you are asked to get that thousandth cup of water for your little one, or to serve another family, or to run that extra errand for your hubby or to not go out with the gals so your man can do something remember to be at peace and remain salty.

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