Time Well Spent

The first thing I look forward to each spring is hanging clothes out on the line.  After being indoors for so many months I crave some time outdoors.  Hanging out laundry is one way I can be productive and enjoy the fresh air.  Today my girls are hanging their laundry out, it's never too early to start training them!  Their sweet giggles as they work together and interesting comments make it a delight to sit by and witness.  Since the girls were babies I've always tried to include them in everything that needs to happen in a day to keep our home running.  The training and teaching of how to care for self and home was long and sometimes challenging, but now pays off in great rewards.  I am confident that our home would continue to run smoothly with the girls at the helm.  They can cook, clean, do laundry, make minor repairs and keep themselves on a schedule.  Not every attempt is done perfectly, but they are well on their way and I am blessed by their service.

Day 10: Canoeing the St. Croix

Pete and I are celebrating our 14th anniversary this weekend sans kiddos!  Today we decided to go canoeing down a 7 mile stretch of the St. Croix River.  These are my favorites from today.

Day 9: Chewing Gum and Paint

We are in our 6th week of homeschool.  Gretta is usually the most compliant, joyful, energetic positive kid you could wish for, unless she's doing her language arts or reading work.  We have been battling attitude and issues since day 1.  Finally it struck me today I am trying to teach her like I did my 3 other left brained children.  She is right brained the way I am presenting her work does not make sense to her.  I feel bad it took me this long to figure out that what I am doing is the problem, not her attitude.  Poor girl!  Thank the Lord she is graceful and forgives me when I am so slow to apply wisdom.  So today we approached learning to read in a new way.  We put together words with flash cards, painted pictures and then wrote the words on them and chewed gum to keep our minds steady.  There was significantly more joy in the second part of our day when I started presenting information to her in a  way she could understand!  

Day: Twinkle Twinkle Little Star

Today was Julia's first violin lesson.  She is thriving with a full soccer, music, school and social life schedule.  Her extroverted heart is supremely happy with a full schedule.  God has been so generous and kind to provide for her so many opportunities.  I pray Julia glorifies God mightily in each of her endeavors!

Day 7: Beautiful Day

Today was gorgeous.  We had a full day church, celebrating Julia's birthday with grandparents and then a trip to our old neighborhood.

Our bees at my Dad's are doing well.  They love the sedum this time of year.  It was a challenge to capture the bees as they were in almost constant motion.  

Lizzy had a rough day allergies are getting her down.  Yet, she still has beautiful hair and accessories.  She is my detail girl!

While visiting our old neighborhood the girls took an opportunity to recreate a picture they did several years ago.  It was especially touching to me.  Our friend and neighbor Carol had been receiving cancer therapy in Reno, NV several years ago.  We took a picture just like this on her tree to send her and let her know she was being prayed for and was missed.  This time she views from heaven.  I sure miss Carol.  She had such a deep impact on my life.  I remember her for her devotion to God, contagious laugh, frugal financial sense and always being ready for guests with an appetizer and cocktail!

Day 6: Taco Daze

This is our 3rd year attending the Scandia Taco Daze.  It is the only fair we do as a family.  There is the running of the meatballs, cheese curds, beer and a short parade.  It's just our speed.  

I don't ever recall seeing neon pink in nature, until today.  

The waiting for the parade was the hardest part, but the candy makes up for it!

Day 5: The Teens Begin

At 7:37 this morning I officially became the mother of my first teenager.  She's been a joy to behold lately and makes me laugh.  There are trials, but overall this girl is a delight to my heart.  Tonight she is celebrating with some soccer friends with a bonfire and Mrs. Doubtfire.  Thank you Lord, for another year with this one!

Day 4: Soccer Mom

I have managed to make it nearly 13 years without having my children in organized sports.  This year Julia decided to play soccer with North Lakes Academy.  She is on the varsity soccer team and loving it.  I hope to learn to take some better action shots of her in the future.  I confess I am enjoying watching her.  Her face lights up and she shines when she plays soccer.  Seeing her joy makes me smile!

Day 3: Playing Hookie

This is a great week for homeschoolers.  As everyone else is headed back to school we took a field trip break.  We are in our 5th week of school so I don't feel too bad!

We took our first trip to the Minnesota Landscape Arboretum.  I was concerned it might not appeal to the girls, but they loved it.  It was so nice to see the girls interested in horticulture and curious about nature.  I love these girls!

Grammy joined us for the day.  I wonder if she knows how thankful I am she's able to enjoy field trips with us?   She brings such laughter and fun.  It's good to have her cheering for our team.

Fall is on it's way, I can't decide what to do first take out all my sweaters, make soup or bake a pie!

Dahlias are my favorite flower and coral may be my favorite color.  

The petals on this dahlia are perfection.  I once watched a show on numbers and the fact that flower petals run in a fibonacci pattern.  It was the first time I thought about God really digging math and creating even mathematics with creative yet orderly design.  

These coral rose blossoms were one of the few that were left after summer's peak.  I could have spent many more hours at the Arboretum.  I look forward to going again.  I still can't figure out how it took me this long to go.  My girls were even saying that we should come back again, soon.  It's nice to share some interests with them.

Day 2: Frustration

This day has been filled with mystery smells, forgetful minds,  and challenged attention.  I'll not wish it away just yet.

This was the sweet moment of the day.  In my frustration and feelings of inadequacy to teach these little gems I stole a second to stop and appreciate the gift I have in homeschooling for one more year. I'm making mistakes and struggling alongside the girls, but I wouldn't trade my role for anything.

This I would trade.  Loads of laundry and fumigating stinky little girl mattresses, bedding and bedroom.  How can such  small beings make such an awful smell?  In case you are wondering how to get a mattress to smell better you need to get pet and kid deodorizing spray.   Now what would I trade this for?  A pedicure and pristinely clean house.  I know it's shallow but I do think it would be worth the trade!

A Photographic Journal: Day 1

It's been years since I've opened this account.  YEARS!  This time I'm blogging to keep a journal of what is happening in my life photographically.  I have wanted a fancy camera for years and the day finally arrived yesterday.  Pete bought me my dream camera and then to top it off he took me to one of my favorite parks to hike and try out the camera.  I am one blessed woman.

This is my favorite photo for the day.  Everywhere I looked there was fresh new growth on the forest floor, on the stone cliffs and the decaying trees.  The soft curves of this mushroom are almost luxurious in form and these fluted lips capture my fancy.  Will I ever cease to be enamored by God's voracious design?

Life has grown, abundantly but in directions I could not have prepared myself to take.  These silent years have been a mix of maturing and humbling.  A time of seeking my Lord and His will aside from human voice.  I've had a growing, gnawing desire to express.  I pray this is the outlet the present time needs. At the least I look forward to looking over not just words, but pictures of these fleeting days.

Pinterest Recipe Review

I have a love hate relationship with Pinterest.  I love to find new recipes to try, but when they don't work out I find myself irritated and frustrated that my creation doesn't taste or look like the gorgeous pictures represented.  This week I have tried several new healthy recipes.  They have been a hit!  The week prior we were on vacation and I tried lemon muddy buddies that was a terrible soggy flop.  Here are the healthy hits.  As a bonus they are all dairy, gluten and refined-sugar free!

Black Bean Hummus
http://www.budgetsavvydiva.com/2013/06/black-bean-hummas-recipe/
We made this for lunch today and my children asked if we could have it again tomorrow.  Three out of the four loved it and it's super good for them.  That makes me happy.  We spread the hummus on Food Should Taste Good Brown Rice crackers and topped them with avocado and tomato.  On the side there were cut up vegetables that tasted equally as good in the hummus. 

Quinoa and Kale Winter Salad
http://www.cookinginredsocks.com/2012/12/03/quinoa-and-kale-winter-salad/
This was what we ate for lunch this week-end.  I didn't have cranberries so we just used raisins and I did not use orange oil in the dressing.  The kids didn't like this as well, but my husband and I liked it.

Chocolate Banana Breakfast Quinoa
http://greatist.com/health/recipe-chocolate-banana-breakfast-quinoa
Again 3 of the 4 children loved this recipe.  I can't help but wonder if they have a conspiracy against me to never all like the same thing?

Repeat, Repeat, Repeat

This morning has not turned out to be what I envisioned.  Instead of a beautiful summer day spent playing outside and laughing it is 10:15 and we are still working on getting chores done!  We started 3 hours ago!  Inevitably every time we sway from our structured school routine we run into this issue.  Everyone including mom quickly slips into vacation mode and forgets how to be disciplined and get the work done.  My children forget how to do their chores with diligence and start doing everything half-way.  I start to nag, yell and fuss instead of discipline.  This is not how I want to spend these precious few days of summer!
So to the word I go seeking encouragement and a little kick in my pants.

"Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it." 

 Proverbs 22:6

This verse escapes me when I most need it.  Somehow I fall into the habit of thinking that if I teach the children once they'll know what they are taught and practice it well.  This is folly on my part.  Clearly Proverbs 22:6 is telling me that I do the training now and the pay off isn't all at once, but rather progressive through their lives.  If this is the case I need to adjust my expectations as a parent and make sure to repeat, repeat, repeat until they are trained so that they can be blessed by their training not just for the moment but for life.

The other half of the folly I face is the lack of discipline.  Words do not equal the rod.  

"When words are many, transgression is not lacking, but whoever restrains his lips is prudent."  Proverbs 10:19

When I preach to the children and go on and on about how to do this job and what was wrong it never has the desired result.  I am reminded that:

"Whoever spares the rod hates his son, but whoever loves him is diligent to discipline him." 

Proverbs 13:24

 Ahhh....I am starting to feel a little better about our lack of diligence situation.  I have been lacking in a couple of key areas: discipline and encouragement.  All the children have been hearing is mom yammer on with complaint and accusation of jobs not well done.  My children need a consistent training, which involves the rod and much praise and encouragement.    

As families we rely on each other and need one another to each pull his own load.  Those who don't work don't eat, meaning it shouldn't just be daddy working everyday and mommy keeping the home while the children play and are run from one entertainment to another.  It means we are training up our young ones to be diligent men and women someday.  Who know how to keep a home and how to work hard.

The work of training is much harder than just doing the jobs myself.  It takes so much more to teach someone how to do something than to just do it for them, but even more work is requiring the same standard day after day.  That is where we prove our mettle.  When we discipline for the 20th time over the same offense or where we train that job one more time because they still haven't mastered the details.  I haven't gotten to the place yet where we are seeing consistent fruit, but I have seen glimmers of it in the past.  That is motivates me to get back on course, well that and the promise that God gives of having children who will not stray from their training!

Summer Menu Ideas

With each season our menu changes.  My goal remains the same through the seasons, provide the most nutrient dense food for what our budges allows that tastes great and can be made while managing a large family.  Here are the items on our menu this week and the recipe for the delicious kabobs we had for dinner today.

Breakfast-Smoothies, eggs and toast, pancakes, cereal, oatmeal, granola, french toast

Lunch-peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, tuna salad, hot dogs, garlic pasta, chicken and salad, paninis

Dinner-Fajitas, thai noodles, kabobs, chinese burritos, fish, sausage grill packs and grilled chicken thighs

Beef Kabobs

1.5-2 lbs Top Sirloin, cut in cubes

1/4c teriyaki sauce

1/4c soy sauce

1/4c honey

3/4 olive oil

2T lemon juice

2T sherry (I use red wine)

1.5 tsp. grated ginger root (I use powdered ginger)

bamboo skewers

assorted grilling vegetables (mushrooms, par-boiled red potatoes, onions, peppers, zucchini, yellow summer squash etc.)

olive oil

salt & pepper

Place cubed beef in gallon size bag.  Mix remaining ingredients up to the skewers and pour over meat.  Marinate over night.  Soak bamboo skewers for several hours before you are ready to assemble the kabobs.  Wash and cut up vegetables, toss with oil and seasonings.  Assemble kabobs.  Cook on grill approx. 5 min per side.  These are great served with rice in place of potatoes and fresh melon.

Chore Cards

One part of my goal every summer break is to get our chores ordered for the year.  I teach the children their new chores and then help to implement a new schedule while we have a break from school.  Every year I try something a little different one year it was a chore chart they could  mark on.  Another it was a door hanger they could use for reference.  This year I created a card system.  This is my favorite one yet.  It has a detailed description of each chore, is reinforced for much use, and pretty!

The first step I took was to write down and establish what chores I wanted done on a daily and weekly basis and at each meal.  Then I typed a detailed description of each chore.  In an effort to make these strong, cute and interchangeable I glued the description to two sided thick paper and covered them with packing tape.  I really wanted to run out to the office store and laminate them, but remembered we still have an excess of packing tape and used that instead.  I punched holes in the corners and made name tags to go with each stack of chores.  My handy husband had several different clips to keep them together.  Now I just need some hooks for them and we are set.
I know my day and home run much better with order.  My hope and expectation is that these will help us to stay on track and running smoothly.  When our home is in order I find our family is more prepared for spur of the moment company and there is a sense of peace and order.  The work of training and maintaining chores is worth the effort!

Getting to Know God's Character

I've started a new focus on reading through the Bible with the purpose of slowing down to meditate on the details.  I have been astounded by how the Lord has opened my eyes to new revelations of who he is.  As I read through Ephesians chapter 5 this morning the descriptive words jumped out at me.  As I listed them in my journal I was tempted to view them as a list of words I need to apply and grow in.  But, then I was overcome with a thought that was so superior to self-improvement, the idea that these are words that describe God's character first.  As I marveled at how God is perfectly worthy, humble, gentle, patient, righteous, tender-hearted and forgiving my focus changed.  I don't want to improve I want to be renewed!  If I change my gaze from the improvement of self to looking at the greatness of my Lord and his character will there be room for self-improvement?
I grieve for the lost time I've spent trying to change what the Lord created, trying to conform to a standard that was not His.  How often I have exchanged the freedom of my God and King that was bought for me with the blood of Jesus for rules, self-improvement, earthly standards.  I pray that no longer would this pharisee like bond hold me.  It is true just as cynicism is easier than hope, rules are easier to follow than to search and seek truth in all it's tremendous greatness.  At some point my mind became dull to the hunt for truth's treasure and wanted to settle for a to do list.
If my gaze is to change I am certain all the details of servant-hood will fall into place.  I won't need to fret about each rule being followed.  They will work themselves out when the focus is on the right prize.  I can be certain that this is the uncomfortable walk, that the boundaries are outside of my comfort zone and the truth and beauty are stretching and overwhelming.  Yet what excitement and joy lie in the challenge of seeing my God in increasing wonder and awe. 

Thoughts on Sobriety

The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things;  4That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, 5To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the work of God be not blasphemed.

Several years ago I read a book by Debi Pearl, Created to be His Helpmeet.  I had been praying for almost a year that God would show me clearly what he desired in a christian marriage and specifically how a christian wife should obey Him and act towards her husband.  God was so good to answer that prayer in the form of a wonderful women in my life that was a beautiful example of what a christian wife and mother look like.  He also put this book in my hands.  As I read through it my eyes were opened to just how important it was for me to obey this verse from Titus.

As I studied and meditated on this verse I was really provoked by the word sober.  I had a very worldly view of the word sober, applying it mostly to the idea of not drinking alcohol or being under the influence of alcohol.  As I looked at the definition of the word and though more on it I felt challenged to apply more of this trait in my life.

Sobermindedness:  Calmness; freedom from inordinate passions; habitual sobriety

Sobriety:  Seriousness; gravity without sadness or melancholy

Webster 1828  Dictionary

Once I had a clear idea of what sobriety was, I started asking God to give me a sober heart, especially in parenting.  It quickly became evident to me that there is a severe lack of sobriety in our culture today, specifically in marriage and parenting.  It didn't take me long to make the commitment to the Lord and myself that I would parent with a sober mind.  It is so easy to parent out of reaction and feeling, not considering seriously all situations.  After watching others blunder their way through parenting without much regard for sobriety I saw that I would need to work hard and focus to do things differently.  At the time I thought it would be a habit change that would become customary to me.  Now I realize that it is a challenge that I will have to continue to purpose.  Without a will and desire to consider this it becomes too easy to be swayed by a have it all, forget the consequences attitude in our culture.

One of the first sober-minded decisions the Lord lead me to make was that I would take care of my children and be their main influence.  One way I have chosen to accomplish this is that I do most everything I can with my children in tow.  If I cannot do my errands or appointments with the children I wait until after Pete is available to care for them.  We have babysitters on occasion and much help from our parents, but I try not to rely on the care of others if at all possible.  God has called me to be the caretaker of my children and I take this command seriously.  As nice as it is to get a break or have some "me time" I realize that if it means I am unloading my responsibility onto someone else their is a much bigger problem.  For me it means I have not managed my house to the extent that it is a place of peace and rest for not just my husband and children but for me as well.  There are seasons where there is less of this, still I must create the peace by managing my home and family well.

Another area that I continually find myself challenged to remain sober in is entertainment and language choices.  The darn that comes out of jr's mouth today becomes the damn it out of their mouth later.  I do not allow my children to speak slang or swearing even if it is what our culture would view as innocent.  What goes in the ears generally comes out the mouth so just this language decision has narrowed our entertainment options.  We do not want to emulate the slick tongued, provocotive adolescents in pop culture so we usually skip watching them and listening to them.  Amazingly this has been one of the easier decisions to enforce.  There are so many great options in books, movies and music that aren't vulgar that we find we have plenty to keep us entertained.  The harder part is to encourage the children to not let their ears embrace what the world says when we are in it.

One last area that I will share with you about sobriety is the stance on the time our children spend away from home.  God has been very good to give us the confidence to make decisions about sleep-overs, camps and time with other adults for our children.  We very rarely entrust these precious, innocent little ones to other people's care simply because we want to take seriously the threats that are in this fallen and unfortunetely wicked world.   I went to numerous camps and sleep-overs as a child and I turned out ok, however that will never be a good enough reason for us to jeapordize our children's safety.   We do not lightly take these sorts of events into consideration.  There have been a few sleep-overs the girls have done, but rarely.  No one has gone to overnight camp as of yet.  Each time one of these events comes up we pray and really seek God's wisdom in sending our children out of our care and into someone elses.  It doesn't matter how many other families choose to send their kids, what matters is that we know that we are doing the right thing before the Lord.  

Our children are only children for a short while.  If we are not careful with the time we have with them we could really make the rest of their life difficult.  I am at times tempted to quiet being the strict mom.  Once in a while I feel like I am over protective, but I am not sure when I address these concerns from a sober view that these thoughts are anything other that the world's influence. 

Diet Update

We have gone several weeks now trying to avoid gluten and dairy and I am happy to report it is going well.  I had a short spurt of eating only soup because the weather turned cool and I discovered soup is an easy thing to make without gluten and dairy.  Here are some of the meals we've tried:

Sloppy Joe stuffed potato boats-  I baked some potatoes scooped out some of the potato to use for another meal and filled it with sloppy joe.  I put it back in the oven for a bit and then topped it with crushed up potato chips.  The children loved this, it's a definite keeper.

Our good ol' stand by fried rice which everyone likes

Spaghetti stuffed squash-we stuffed a spaghetti with marinara meat sauce and baked it.  The children loved this.  Pete and I had quinoa and chicken sausage stuffed acorn squash.  It was really good.

Salmon Salads

Roasted Vegetables with Chicken Sausage

Tacos-surprised to find no one misses the cheese or minds using corn tortillas

Soups-chicken wild rice, chicken pot pie soup, alphabet soup and cream of vegetable soup.  These were all really good, but I did have some requests from my family not to make them all in one week for our meals.

It has been really great to see that there are still fun culinary options for eating despite the need to do without many things.  I have been putting off this change for a long time in fear of being a burden to others with our special diet.  It does take extra time, money and effort but the health results for us have been so encouraging.  I am still working on getting over the hurdle of letting go of having what I want when I want it and the other hurdle of having to plan and inform others that I can't eat dairy, gluten, corn or tomatoes and a few other items.  I've always tried to live by and teach the children that we eat what we are served in gratitude.  I do believe that if others are willing to serve me by cooking for me I should have a grateful heart and never put forth demands.  These food intolerances I am finding are a huge blow to my values and I haven't worked through how to manage the situations we encounter eating with others.  Initially I thought it wasn't very often that this would come up but now I realize it's all the time!  We can't simply run through a drive through, there's too few options that or family can eat.  If we are invited to some one's house I haven't quiet figured out how to communicate our needs.  Perhaps the hardest is celebrations with others where I feel like I don't even want to go because I have to bring a separate meal for some of our family and then explain, explain, explain why we don't eat certain things.  Depending on the crowd and family the reaction is often that I am a paranoid freak.  Which perhaps I am, but would rather not admit to others!

So the physical part of our experiment is having some great results.  The emotional part is a different story.  I didn't realize there would be an emotional part to this and feel a little side swiped.  Thankfully I have been feeling a lot better which gives me a lot more margin to deal with these issues as they come up!

Worrying the Kids Away

I read this post by Nancy Wilson this morning and felt I must share it.

"We mothers are tempted in many ways, but one of those ways is to be worriers.
What do we worry about? Oh, we are very imaginative! If we don’t have any real situations on our hands, we can come up with all kinds of potential stuff to worry about.

Now, worry is bad for us. And it’s bad for our kids. It’s an uglifying sin (like all the rest of them). Worry is antithetical to biblical femininity. It is never pretty. It sucks the joy out of our lives, disturbs our peace, and disrupts a gentle and quiet spirit."  To read the rest go here.

Friendships and Our Children

I have been lacking clarity and discernment lately in the area of friendships and our children.  There are so many messages that I've allowed to populate my  mind.  Unfortunetely I have not been on my toes to the chaos these messages have caused until now.  I've always had several ideas running around my head about how to spend time in friendships, but never really have come to a hard and fast conviction of what friendships and social time in my children's lives should look like.  I suppose part of the reason why I haven't really evaluated what my convictions are is that my children are still pretty young and the subject didn't come up very often.  The past 6 months have changed that.  Now that my eldest is 9 I am finding that I need to figure out these convictions and quick!  The pressure to spend time with others, invitations and oppourtunities for friendships are astoundingly many.  The choices we make as parents will have a big impact on not only our children's friendships but their entire future.
I know that choosing the wrong company can lead to a plethora of issues.  That  was my childhood.  I always seemed to choose the wrong crowd and suffered the consequences of shallow, rebellious relationships my entire childhood.  It is really sad to look back and see that without any guidance the easy choice was always the wrong choice.  Knowing this, I have complete confidence that I, as a parent need to be heavily involved in where our children spend their time and energy in relationship.  The problem is that now I know I need to be involved what do I do?  Praise God that I do not parent alone and have a very wise husband.  I have much control over our daily schedules, but love that he ultimately looks at the schedule and can easily tell what is and is not wise.  I find the more I consult my husband and pray to God the more readily I can make righteous decisions in this area. 
The two biggest questions that seem to perplex me the most is who to allow the children to spend time with and how much time.  As christians we want to be a light to the world.  I want to train my girls to be able to to deal with difficult people and stand true to their convictions.  I want them to share the love of Christ readily and show his love by speaking the truth in love.  I find that this desire drives me to allow them to sometimes spend time with company that does not share the same convictions in their walk or a belief in God.  I was under the idea that somehow my children were ready to be a shining example of Christ's love to others and they would not be tempted give into the temptation to follow the ways of the world.  God ever to kindly rebuked me of this naiive attitude I've had.  This  morning as I was praying about a specific relationship in one of my children's lives I was reminded that we are not on earth to have pleasures and be popular.  Was I allowing my child to compromise her character to be popular or liked?  I was allowing her to pursue and spend much time in a relationship that was often causing her to sin.  I am so thankful for God's gentle wisdom in this matter. 
My dear friend Kim Doebler once told me that she often asks of relationships, "are we being more influential or being influenced."  In this relationship my child wants to be in I am so dissappointed to say that she is being more influenced and unfortunetely it is for the detriment to her.  I am not sure the other child has any intention to lead my little one into sin, but sin is what results from her time with this child.  So as unpopular as I will be for limiting the time she has in this relationship I am convicted it is not for my or her popularity that we spend our time, it is for the Lord. 
Thankfully we have many other relationships in our life that are uplifting and mutually encouraging in our walk with the Lord.  We are so incredibly blessed to have others that lead us towards righteousness that we don't have enough time in our schedule to nurture all of those relationships in our lives and the childrens closely.  We had a terrible afternoon of crashing this week after over committing and under discplining ourselves.  It was a blaring red flag to me that I had mismanaged our time and stressed my entire family out by having too much time with friends and in enjoyment.  We were no longer able to refresh and keep our home running and we all had a feeling of chaos.  This has led me to evaluate how much time we spend with our friends.  God has not spoken to me quite so clearly about this one.  I think there must be a balance that I try and strike with this that happens before we commit to things.  I know each family has a different tollerance for outside activities, ours happens to be very little.  I know this about us.  I know that we can only handle a few extras in our schedule before it has a bad effect.  Given that understanding I think the best course is to look at the realitites of our capacity and schedule a little more clearly in the future and ask my husband a little more often his input!
I feel a have a little better vision and conviction to move forward with but still have a long ways to go.  I don't want to raise children who are so guarded they don't know how to function outside of our home.  But I also don't want children who value friendship more than God.  It's a delicate balance, one that I am sure I'll continually be learning to seek God's will in.